Heidegger was a weird philosopher. Deep, incomprehensible insights that he tried to scribble onto a map of words about territory that, at best, are hermetic hieroglyphics; challenging to decipher. But I think I grok the guy

And if it’s true that the fabric of our being is interlaced with the hologram, in our own private Idaho dancing with the cosmos. Then human being truly is a verb, there is no soul other than the dance, and the path of the magician is the full embrace of illusion and its utility


It’s been liberating. In ways I was unaware, my attention was being hijacked by social media. Even sparse interactions left fragments of attention circling for followups in background processes. Scrolling rolls of micro informational transactions swirling swamps of temporary relevance. The sprawl of activity, opinions, offense, urgencies and noise, even while passively perusing without engagement seems to have taken toll. Because now it feels, by fasting days from social media for roughly 48 hour intervals, my attention has more agency. I look for things I want to explore and I’m not dancing with dopamine or being constantly nudged by the continual forment, memetic arbitrage and identity politics that passes for pulp discourse these days.

Spanish teacher brought her mother to class tonight from Mexico city. Class got to practice by asking her questions. Mexico city is evidently built on the catacombs of old Aztecan canals used to ferry food from the farms. And on top of Aztec temples are Spanish churches. And as the canals have been drained of water, the city of Mexico is now sinking. And to not believe all the media hype and fake news about crime and cartels, Mexico is beautiful, friendly and happy. And her favorite food is spanish rice, and what she does for fun is chop vegetables.

Afterwards, I broke the fasting routine and went to the pub for beer and some chicken wings. Now I’m re-watching Avengers Infinity War to get ready for End Game tomorrow night. Also got a multiplayer Stratego game installed from Steam. Some Europeans take this game seriously, like South Korea and Starcraft, so will be fun to try the rankings board.

memetic crispr

There’s a lot of noise right now diffusing meaning and impact of weighted terms like race and taking offense. Their semantic markers are blurring, unmoored intentionally from cultural consensus by political crisprs.

I think everybody has a right to be personally offended by whatever they choose and a symmetrical right not to care what offends others. As long as it’s not endangering anything but pride, so what? Bite me.

But if a behavior encourages or endorses hate crimes against others then it becomes morally offensive, and we’re better than that … and there is no equivocation.

Finished with Stranger Things, Season 3. Beautiful ending. Restores my faith in american dreamtime… my theory is that movies and film are the american equivalent of the aboriginal dreamtime. Which happens on another plane. According to them, this conscious playground is just a toddler’s growing up phase to enter dreamtime, where the real stuff is happening.

While I believe western dreamtime is an invitation to the underworld. Playing with the fabric of maya. Different approach perhaps to a common end


I judge others more than I would like, and myself through others’ eyes. I slip and take things personally. Sometimes I feel powerless. I feel weakness, dullness, strength, levity, stillness, contentment

I meditate twice daily to learn letting my feelings go, thoughts go. Not to avoid them, not to hang on to them. They are ephemeral anyway.

One of my deepest fears is that I have squandered my time and opportunity with my anxieties, self-consciousness and failure to break through conditioning and habit

This is my confession and my kenning


This is stuff my buddy from Japan posts on his dojo page. I think it’s awesome. The English translation of Japanese makes it surreal, but when I ask miko to translate sometimes, to get at a truer meaning, it is usually just as strange… here’s what I mean…


The way to go, and the bear.
The best is the way to keep it!

No benign, no core.
No core, no pride.

Pride is a core stick of people.
Don’t leave me alone.

Life as I know it

A friend called the other day, wanted to talk about some things and asked when would be a good time to call later. I told him anytime, I’d be here all day. He remarked, “wow, that doesn’t sound like you!” My wife, passing by and only hearing my side of the phone conversation, said: “Boring life!” in jest. Another friend asked if I’ve become a town rat now and didn’t want to get out on adventures in nature, curious why I was wasting a golden opportunity living in such a beautiful locale and not regularly camping and hiking. 

For now, I’m perfectly content. A little more than a year ago we returned from 3 1/2 years living the expat life in South America. At that time, we needed to shake things up a bit. But now, I find myself engaged in a number of rich pursuits that have nothing to do with trips to scenic places or social entertainments. I’m not sure how long this engagement will rivet my attention and have made no commitments for other than roughly a year at a time. 

I can see those who work most of the time wanting to get away for a reset. Either in small excursions or long dalliances in romantic visions of exotic vacations or gypsy lifestyles. And I suppose, in a way, I’m actually engaged in something similar, which is more like a hybrid retreat/monastery/college. One conforming to my own immediate goals and intentions. 

For example…my mornings and evenings start and end with meditation. Not a wispy calm the mind new age feel good practice, but rather with a specific intent and concrete feedback on progression to develop a sustained focus of concentration with a disciplined approach called samatha. I do this between 30-60 minutes a sitting. Other physical disciplines are part of my routine, including work on mastery of a form of Tai Chi I am studying from local teachers of an established lineage. I have refined a body-weight and flexibility routine for building strength and resilience that requires no gym, just a yoga mat, a pull-up bar, some straps and bands and hand grips. To this I am also adding a more rigorous set of yoga asanas and interval training on a stationary bike. I fast two days a week and go on long walks late at night around the sleeping neighborhoods. I do cold showers and have begun to add saunas weekly. And these are just the physical dimensions of my “retreat”.

My other classes at this magical monastery, between eating out 3-4 times a week, meeting friends for ales at the pub to talk philosophy, movies at home on the weekends and visiting with family include various tracks of mastery through daily practice in Spanish (also attend a weekly conversational class), writing, runes (a 3 year course), creating art with code and graphics and exploration of trance states, micro-dosing mind altering substances, nootropics and practices to deepen skills in cyber-security (because it has intrinsic interest) and machine learning. I maintain a handful of web sites and blogs on various interests and create products and applications for exploring the boundaries of consciousness. 

At times I feel like I’m at some type of warped Hogwarts academy in which each of these disciplines are taught in different classes. I’m an advocate of going deeply into certain subjects with a practicing mind, one that is content with the process and journey, rather than any specific destination. 

Even from this rich and stimulating fabric of daily existence, I will still take escapades. Particularly to Japan. But when others think that my life must be pretty boring, just staying at home most of the time, I suspect they may not realize just how many adventures can occur within.