I took a journey with an ally today. It had been a while since we last related. I was seeking a reset -of habituating thoughts and stagnant energies.
I warded my space and consecrated the sacrament. Since this ally originated in Ecuador, I purified the space with palo santo rather than sage. I had been fasting about 18 hours.
Like such journeys before, it began by illuminating physical and energetic blockages in the body. Flashes of nausea. Corporeal dysphoria. Spasms, spitting vowels. Guttural moans. Not a recreational process, but a necessary one.
The verbal growls and whimpers are also a form of galdr that release pockets of toxicity and stagnation that gets stuck in our energy bodies. A more subdued scream therapy, it feels.
When the energy smoothed a bit, I fumbled with questions. With how to ask them. As in all my ally dialogs to date, it answered my wobbly inquiry unpredictably. This time without answer but rather a place of answers and that was its answer.
It told me to hold space for the sacred and magical. More-so than anything sharp and pointy that I was subconsciously seeking. Nothing to be acquired or activated. Not about finding definitive distinction. Or the boson particle of the philosopher’s stone. Or a peek into the divine plan. Or even any magical utility.
Rather: keep space present, unclench the heart, open its chambers and corridors.
Not a space of longing or lack,nor needing nor emptiness. Rather humble acceptance of the limitations of thoughts, and maintaining an inner clearing in their midst With an open invitation to mystery’s spontaneity and grace. A place we could meet when I tired of hearing myself think.
There is nothing I can bring into this space and nothing to take from it. But it connects, and relates, to everything of importance to me. It was something I had forgotten about the forest, lying deep within the trees.
It took me a few days to parse this gift. It is the contra power of Adam, it is the dark domain of Lilith, the power to unname that which is named. And the power to perceive that which is unnameable. Now to remember and explore its practice in order to assimilate this luminous lesson.